it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Randomize
