do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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