WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
this will be a night to untag.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
