Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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