i already hear my dad disowning me
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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