dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
