yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
my shit smells like andre
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
