I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
