When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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