Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
