one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Boobs are out for the taking
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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