i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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