She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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