After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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