Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
