PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
