He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
