and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
