Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I woke up under a house in Key West
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
