I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize