hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
