Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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