Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
