So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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