you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
