If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
