you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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