it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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