he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
