so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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