My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
