i just wanna soil my oats bro
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
This toilet bowl is my home.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
