Sponge bath it is.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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