im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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