if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Text me some of your sweat
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
