The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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