She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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