i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
