What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
