Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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