if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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