I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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