there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
