I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
