11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
