is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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