i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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