Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
