so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
