I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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