Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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