This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
