everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
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