I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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