I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
