Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
