bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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