I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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