dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize