Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
