Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
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