I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
