I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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