what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
