She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
