Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
