But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
