Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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