i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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