No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
