Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
