Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
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