If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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